Mark 2:8-9
៨ «ព្រះអង្គឈ្វេងយល់ក្នុងវិញ្ញាណភ្លាមពីគំនិតគេ ព្រះអង្គក៏មានបន្ទូលទៅកាន់គេថា ៖ «ហេតុអ្វីបានជាអ្នករាល់គ្នាគិតក្នុងចិត្តដូច្នេះ? ៩ តើការដែលនិយាយទៅកាន់អ្នកស្លាប់ដៃជើងថា ៖ «អំពើបាបរបស់អ្នកបានទទួលការលើកលែងទោសហើយ» និងការដែលនិយាយថា ៖ «ចូរក្រោកឡើង យកកន្ទេលអ្នកដើរទៅ» មួយណាស្រួលជាង?»
My only concerns in verse 8 are the words, "ព្រះអង្គ" and the location of, "ភ្លាម"
In the Greek “ιησους” is used (meaning Jesus) but it has been translated as, "ព្រះអង្គ".
I don't feel like there is any reason to do that – I would change it to "ព្រះយេស៊ូ"
Second, the location of "ភ្លាម"
In the Greek verse 8 starts with, “ και 2532 [AND, ហើយ] ευθυς 2117 [IMMEDIATELY, ភ្លាមនោះ]”
In other places where this phrase is at the beginning of a verse the KCB has translated the phrase as “ភ្លាមនោះ" or as “ហើយភ្លាមនោះ" (1:12, 18, 20, 23...) so I am not sure why the translators chose to change their translation in this case (it does not seem any different that any of the other cases, warranting a different translation). Also the in the Greek "ព្រះអង្គ" is not present in the phrase as the translators have translated it, “ព្រះអង្គក៏មានបន្ទូល....”, so I would remove that because I don't feel it takes away from the Khmer, and it allows the translation to better follow the Greek.
I believe putting “ភ្លាមនោះ" at the beginning would not interfere with the Khmer, and also allow the text to be closer to the Greek (also, the way it is right now, it could almost mean that the thought traveled really fast into Jesus' spirit, but if put at the beginning of the sentence it would correctly guide the reader to understand that right after the scribes had those thoughts Jesus knew).
Here is my re-translation of verse 8:
ហើយភ្លាមនោះ ព្រះយេស៊ូបានឈ្វេងយល់ក្នុងវិញ្ញាណរបស់ទ្រង់ពីគំនិតគេ ក៏មានបន្ទូលទៅកាន់គេថា ៖ «ហេតុអ្វីបានជាអ្នករាល់គ្នាគិតក្នុងចិត្តដូច្នេះ?
In verse 9, my concerns are again about sentence order. The way the translation is currently seems top heavy and hard to read. Also, the phrase, "យកកន្ទេលអ្នកដើរទៅ" to me does not sound complete, so I changed the wording, doing my best to follow the Greek as well as get the Khmer correct. To me, it seems as if the question is split in two, so I feel like it should be put at the end to help it be clear in Khmer.
To start, here's a Greek/English Interlinear with Khmer added:
τι 5101[WHICH, តើមួយណា] εστιν 2076(5748)[IS, គឺជា] ευκοπωτερον 2123[EASIER, ស្រួលជាង] ειπειν 2036(5629)[TO SAY, និយាយ] τω 3588[TO THE, ទៅកាន់] παραλυτικω 3885[PARALYTIC, អ្នកស្លាប់ដៃជើង] αφεωνται 863(5769)[HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN, បានទទួលការលើកលែងទោសហើយ] σοι 4671 αι 3588[THEE "THY", អ្នក] αμαρτιαι 266[SINS, អំពើបាប] η 2228[OR, ឬ] ειπειν 2036(5629)[TO SAY, និយាយ] εγειραι 1453(5669)[ARISE, ក្រោកឡើង] και 2532[AND, ហើយ] αρον 142(5657)[TAKE UP, ស្រវា] σου 4675 τον 3588[THY, របស់អ្នក] κραββατον 2895[COUCH, កន្ទេល] και 2532[AND, ហើយ] περιπατει 4043(5720)[WALK?, ដើរ?]
Here is my re-translation (putting the question at the end, in order to keep things clear in Khmer):
ការនិយាយទៅកាន់អ្នកស្លាប់ដៃជើងថា ៖ «អំពើបាបរបស់អ្នកបានទទួលការលើកលែងទោសហើយ» ឬនិយាយថា ៖ «ចូរក្រោកឡើង យកកន្ទេលរបស់អ្នក ហើយដើរទៅ» តើមួយណាងាយស្រួលនិយាយជាង?